Everyone Develop a Crush Now

Hey handsome,

Okay this blog post is fueled by a watermelon red bull and some bumpin' house and hyper pop music. 

I've been thinking about the elements that make up who I am. For example, being non binary. Sometimes that shit is so taxing dude. Like I 100% understand people that change their pronouns back. Because sometimes, it feels like you can never win. When I'm in a negative space, I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. That I'm not being held in any spaces of the society's mind. But that's only when I'm down in the dumps. When I'm not though??? Like who can do it like me. No one. So I persevere. 

Though I think one of the most challenging part of being enby is navigating the dating life. The last time I was dating was when I was a girly pop and it was so easy back then. You just talk to men and it didn't really have multi layers of gender dynamics and social constructs. Like you were just in a hetero relationship. But now, the one thought that floats in my mind is what if they don't like my identity. Like it's a side mission to figure out if they're ✊🏼 y'know? lol. But I wouldn't want someone that doesn't want me. So that's just me having pussy ahh thoughts. And I just redownloaded hinge! And every time, I am reminded of why I deleted that shit. I don't want to talk to strangers! But I'm going to try to use it for more than 48 hours this time to do some character rebuilding. I have put up the thickest wall when talking to strangers and I think it's time I try to be open again. I had told my friend about my traumatizing dating experiences that I've held in for years and she said, "It’s out in the air now u don’t have to hold onto it :)" And I think that altered my brain chemistry. Shout out Dora you're so real. But so far, it's been a lot of white women. Like OC blonde white women that likes to go hiking. Or it's men that says that their love language is physical touch. DPMO 👹

Anyways, I hope everyone has a whimsical and magical November! 


#28

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Holy Glaze - El Segundo

Heyyy sexy people, I hope you are having a good summer. My summer has been pretty slow, but I am still getting to experience new experiences. It's only my first time at life. Anyways, this Holy Glaze about one of my favorite bands, El Segundo (Daniel) y Los Minutos (Eddie, Francis, Ryan). RAHHHHHH. My favorite part about them is their excellence in musicality, especially in live settings. I even told this to Daniel after a show when I barely knew him. I think that they have a particular sound, but it doesn't become repetitive because they have the range to pull it off. I only mention this because some artists do become repetitive with their unique sounds. And I don't like when that happens lol. Their  Soul Tape session  is so good I watched it twice two days in a row. For my number one song,  Toto Ah Viuh  takes the spot. I love the simplicity of the studio version, it gets straight to the point (even though I have no idea what the song is about because it's in Spani...
Read more

Holy Glaze - The Faye

Bello! I came up with a series! the Holy Glaze where I talk about things I love. I haven't set the parameters yet, I am 100% going with the flow. I am jotting down the different ideas that I can cover and I think this is so fitting for me. I love having no restrictions to talk about things that I love. Free will maxxing, side quest maxxing type shit. First on my Holy Glaze is The Faye (Aidan, Aram, Francis, Kayla, Ryan). They are a local SoCal indie band, but also my friends. I chose them as the first batter because I know them personally, but I also enjoy their music very much so it felt easier and comfortable to talk about them first. I think my first time seeing them live was January 2024 in Fullerton. And I had seen them live a few more times after that, but I didn't seek out for their music on streaming platforms because in my head, I was like, "band music only sounds good live so I'm not going to bother looking them up." And one day, I decided to give it a s...
Read more

About Me

Hi, Welcome to my room, make yourself at home. This is a casual third space for me. And now for you too. I wanted to make a blog because I have way too many thoughts floating around in my head and I needed a place to ground them. I looked at one reddit post on free blog websites and landed here. So I am still figuring things out, but I'm excited for this journey. Okay, as I am writing this, I am desperately looking for the line spacing option because I need my 1.5 spacing. This current spacing is way too narrow for my eyes. Actually, this doesn't look too bad in the preview :P I don't like how the layout I'm seeing now as I'm writing is shown differently in preview. Shouldn't I be seeing the same formatting right now? Anyways, I named this space "sumin's room" because this is just one room that makes up who I am. People can come and go as they please. For me, good ideas strike me like lightening and they sit themselves in my head perfectly. Like wh...
Read more