sumin's room

You by Sumin Lee And I carry myself through the darkness Because I can feel the warmth of your smile The ground forms to your heartbeat The butterflies can guide me to you I reach my hand out To see if you’re there Tell me you’re here I don’t know where to go without you Do you remember our first When our eyes locked The door closed behind me Breathy air couldn’t escape you  Why won’t you be my sun Keep me in your orbit Intricate waves of your aura You’re my phenomena

Omg hi guys, I was just looking at my calendar and I realized that there are only 2 weeks left in the semester. Like one more week and then finals week. And something punched me and fast forwarded my brain to the end of next semester. Also known as my last semester. Like I know for a fact that's more concrete than the earth's core that it's going to be my fastest semester. And of course emo ahh indie ahh song ( Pointless Forever - ugly ) was playing in the background so I started feeling like a wet soggy leaf. I hate soggy leaves especially if they look crunchy but turn out to be soggy. GAHHHHH.  Anyways, I've been wanting to sit down and write about everything that's on my plate right now because I think not articulating what I'm going through is clouding my head. It's been hard to think and form coherent sentences lately and I fear I must face the reality of myself. Okay, here is the list: taking 13 units (honestly not that bad but the commute is making it...

Hey twin! I'm back with another episode of Holy Glaze. So I have a friend named Isaac that I met earlier this year. We bonded over hating overly sad emo bands (which I still stand by). And we've worked together through aka musique, including throwing his birthday show. I remember that show vividly because everyone was sooo stressed while I was like let's just get it going idk? And Isaac came up to me throughout the show talking about how successful the turnout was. He was very happy. I'm not sure if that was the first time I saw him perform, but it was definitely one of the firsts. And the energy was insane. I actually don't remember too much of the actual performance because I was busy working door and making sure everything else was good but like trust me, it was poppin. There's this sense of energy from him and the band when they perform that's different from other bands. Maybe because they're alt rock? Who knows. But like trust me. Okay, let's di...

Hey handsome, Okay this blog post is fueled by a watermelon red bull and some bumpin' house and hyper pop music.  I've been thinking about the elements that make up who I am. For example, being non binary. Sometimes that shit is so taxing dude. Like I 100% understand people that change their pronouns back. Because sometimes, it feels like you can never win. When I'm in a negative space, I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. That I'm not being held in any spaces of the society's mind. But that's only when I'm down in the dumps. When I'm not though??? Like who can do it like me. No one. So I persevere.  Though I think one of the most challenging part of being enby is navigating the dating life. The last time I was dating was when I was a girly pop and it was so easy back then. You just talk to men and it didn't really have multi layers of gender dynamics and social constructs. Like you were just in a hetero relationship. But now, the one thought tha...

Hey playa, I was thinking about what makes me attracted (romantically and platonically) to a person. Like what are the traits that I love for myself and others? And I came up with a list. At the base, we have confident and passionate. If I feel these traits from them, it's an automatic yes. I think these are the most important traits. Every person that I fell in love with head over heels was when I could feel their confidence. There is just an aura that exudes from confident people that I find exhilarating. And that usually coexists with strong passion. Like yes, have a strong sense of what brings you joy and talk your shit.  In the middle, we have funny, flexible, and smart (in any realm). These are like oh hell yeah. Like when you ask for ranch and they give it to you for free when you thought they were going to charge you. I think these traits are like the bare minimum for me to keep you around. It's like the ingredients in a sandwich. Without it, you're just two pieces ...

Hi,  Why yes, it's 2 in the morning and I'm having a cry session because I saw my dog in a place that's only existent in my head. Was that astral projecting? Maybe. It's all white, but it's neither cold nor hot. It feels like nothing but I can feel every lump and hair on my dog. I can feel how she sits on my lap, how she made the perfect cinnamon roll when she's cuddled up with me. I can also feel that you're not in pain anymore. That it's nothing but peace where you are.  There are so many things that has changed in my life because you're not here. I haven't gone on our walk route by myself. I haven't had to look for your hair on my clothes. I have met so many new people that are now in a version of my life without you. I stay out as late as I want to because you won't be home to greet me.  I don't know if I'm going to publish this one. If I do, it'll just sit quietly until someone that's meant to see it, sees it. Loving ...