The Concept of Missing Someone

Hi, 

Why yes, it's 2 in the morning and I'm having a cry session because I saw my dog in a place that's only existent in my head. Was that astral projecting? Maybe. It's all white, but it's neither cold nor hot. It feels like nothing but I can feel every lump and hair on my dog. I can feel how she sits on my lap, how she made the perfect cinnamon roll when she's cuddled up with me. I can also feel that you're not in pain anymore. That it's nothing but peace where you are. 

There are so many things that has changed in my life because you're not here. I haven't gone on our walk route by myself. I haven't had to look for your hair on my clothes. I have met so many new people that are now in a version of my life without you. I stay out as late as I want to because you won't be home to greet me. 

I don't know if I'm going to publish this one. If I do, it'll just sit quietly until someone that's meant to see it, sees it. Loving you made it hard for me to give up on what I love. I'm juggling so many different things because I want to have my cake and eat it too. 

My heart was yours since the day that I met you and it'll forever be yours. Love was the easiest thing because of you, now it just has a dollop of sorrow buried underneath it. A bittersweet chocolate if you will.

To Twinnkie, the brightest twinkle in my heart.

#28 

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